Talking to a Few Guys But Want a Boyfriend?

Do you have men around you but want a full-time relationship?

Several weeks ago I met with a new client. She had contacted me saying how everyone she went to couldn’t help her with her guy issues. Everything she tried seemed to fail. This young lady was out of college for a few years and has been single just as long.

I asked her about her situation to get an understanding of what went wrong in the past and to see what could be going wrong now. It’s possible it’s the same exact problem! Now, I’m the type of Reader that doesn’t guess things. I do ask questions to make sure I know the truth. I’m never setting out to “wow” someone; that’s a sideshow. I help people from an Intuitive as well as Psychological perspective. The facts are a must!

You may think she had a hard time getting guys to like her. However, the exact opposite was true! She was gorgeous, intelligent, and had a wonderful personality. She was already planning to purchase a home (with money saved up) and she had a wonderful job as a District Manager for a company.

The thing I noticed is that her problems began after a relationship ended. She began talking to a few guys and eventually they would leave the picture but she would always have more guys to take their spot. She just never knew why things never developed into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with any of the guys.

As I sat down across the able from her, I asked to confirm what she wanted: “So you’re talking to a few guys right now but you want a boyfriend. Is that correct?” She nodded as she watched me shuffle a deck of Tarot Cards.

The Cards and my Intuition showed me something that can apply to anyone. If you are talking to a few guys that interest you but you want thinking to go further and make one of them your boyfriend then you need to do the following:

Connect with one guy.

I told her the same thing I’m going to tell you. It’s great that you’ve been talking to a few people that interest you. It gives you lots of options! However, it can make it harder for you to focus on just one guy. You may not be able to build a strong relationship with one guy when you’re thinking about the other handful. You may also find yourself comparing guys. Remember that if you’re searching for one guy that you will eventually have to trade quantity for quality.

How do you choose the one out of the bunch?

1. Which guys haven’t you talked to in a while? Make those the first to go.
2. Do they act like jerks or have a personality you don’t approve of? Bye bye!
3. You know that one little thing they do that annoys the hell out of you? Yeah, well, it will never grow on you no matter what the movies tell you! Adios!
4. Say adieu to the guys that make you feel uncomfortable. No, it is not butterflies, nerves, or you being picky. Sometimes we wish we could like someone; this is the result when we don’t like them afterall.
5. Find that one person you like like and put the initiative forward to get to know him better. Ask him to hang out, go bowling on a group date, or eat at the new restaurant in town. He will notice your approach and it will get things off to boyfriend-girlfriend territory!

At first my client was apprehensive. We then found out that she had a deeply-rooted fear. Not a fear of commitment but a fear of being alone. She was afraid to focus on just one man out of the pack because:

“What if the relationship doesn’t last long? I’ll have to start over again because I can’t go back to the guys I pushed aside!”

These are some of the tips I gave her:

• You picked the best of the pack anyway. Why go for one of the “rejects” that you let go of? I’m sure you don’t want to put up with the guy that hums the most annoying showtunes, belches every five minutes, or smells like cat pee. If you do, then scurry on back.
• There are always more guys. You know how guys come and go over time? Well some more are just around the corner so hurry up and go find them!
• Cross that bridge when you get to it. Don’t worry about “what if” scenarios. If you like them so much then what if he’s the one you’re meant to spend your life with? Don’t throw away the opportunity because you’re afraid to be alone. Go for it. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. Maybe it won’t work out. But don’t back away from a potential relationship because of your fear. If you break up it’s time to start from scratch and do this over again. Next contestant, please!

So how does this story end? Well it hasn’t been too long but my client chose a guy and they’re a very happy couple! She told me she picked a winner and she feels like he might be in it for the long haul. Remember you’ll never know unless you try.

If you aren’t ready for a monotonous relationship or just want to flirt around, you don’t have to pick just one guy. Sometimes it’s great to have some cuties to flirt with or some gentlemen to take you out for some fun without commitment being there. But if you’re like my client that wanted a relationship but couldn’t get out of boy-town, then it’s time to pick one.

If you need some help with relationships or with choosing a single man from your own pack of men, let me know and I will be honored to give you a Reading for a low rate either through e-mail or an IM session. There is much fulfillment to gain from relationships so don’t be afraid to get involved.

– Lady Cerridwen Brighid Morrigan